


Tame

by murmeltearding



Series: Amazing Chemistry and Sadness [4]
Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Blowing Shit Up, Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dick Jokes, Drinking, F/M, Fireworks, Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 06:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18959524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmeltearding/pseuds/murmeltearding
Summary: Marcus has a bday party, everyone gets drunk. Wrench makes his usual dumb jokes.





	Tame

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reallifewaitressmia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reallifewaitressmia/gifts).



> this is something I wrote mostly for my own enjoyment, its a crossover featuring two of my OCs (the second one is from my gotham fic)  
> I thought it was pretty fun, but I'm generally pretty easily amused, so I don't know...

“So… I’ve been going to the gym for two weeks now… I think I’m seeing the first results! Check my sixpack!” you proudly announced to Sitara, coming out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around your body, hair hanging over your shoulders in wet strands.  
“Dude… you’ve been going to Pilates once a week!” she rolled her eyes.  
“Yea, for two weeks!”   
“And I’m not gonna feel you up until you get dressed!” She turned back towards her desk.  
“I’m up for it though!” Wrench suddenly piped in, sitting up on the sofa where he’d been hidden by the backrest. <3.<3 lit up on his mask, as it did almost each time he saw you.  
You startled so bad, you almost dropped the towel. “When did you come in? I didn’t even hear you!”   
“Yea, because you were in the shower! Let me feel up that hot bod, come here!” He reached towards you over the back of the sofa.   
Quickly checking Sitara was focused on her work, he let his hand glide in between the folds of the towel, baring your tummy and downwards for all the world to see. He prodded his fingers against your skin expertly, taking a good look at everything he’d bared before pulling back again.   
“Rock hard!” he announced.  
“Right?!” you beamed.   
“Oh… not you… me! You’re okay too though.” he chuckled.   
Sitara groaned and demonstratively reached for her noise cancelling headphones.   
“How long until we have to be there?” you asked before she could put them on.   
“We need to leave in about 30 minutes.” Sitara said, checking her watch.   
“Oh I won’t take that long!” Wrench promised.   
Rolling your eyes, you punched him in the arm. “I know! You never do! But I gotta get dressed… and dolled up!”  
Marcus had invited a couple of friends to his favorite bar to celebrate his birthday. The usual gang would be there, along with a couple of other people you’d met a few times.

+++

An hour later, the three of you walked into Lucky Pierre’s. Marcus had recently declared it his new favorite hangout. The music was good, drinks were cheap, the patrons were… queer in the best possible sense. What more could one ask for.  
The whole affair wasn’t supposed to be anything fancy, still you’d put on some makeup for the occasion. Wrench was totally digging it, but then he generally dug most of what you did.   
Marcus was already there, as was Josh. They had found a booth in the very back where Josh could be with the rest of you but didn’t have to be quite in the center of the festivities. Marcus sat with him, nursing a beer. By the look of it, it wasn’t his first one… or his second.   
“Guys! You finally came! I thought you wouldn’t show up!” Marcus said, getting up from his seat on wobbly legs.   
“Blame it on those two. They were fooling around or something…” Sitara defended herself.   
“Ah young love…” Marcus roared, trying to hug the three of you all at once.   
“I’ll have whatever he’s been drinking!” Wrench shouted towards the barman. “No wait… make it two…“ he continued, “or… do you want some as well?” he asked. “three!” he corrected himself.  
Sitara ordered a drink as well and you all sat down with Josh. He seemed happy not to be all alone with drunken Marcus anymore.   
“Where’s the others?” Wrench asked. “I thought you’d invited your non hacker friends as well?”   
“Yea, I messed that up. I’ll see them sometime next week.”   
The waiter brought your drinks and Wrench quickly downed his first beer in one big gulp. To get on Marcus’ level, he explained. “Can’t have him be the only one who’s superdrunk, right?”   
“I’m not… that drunk.” Marcus said, slapping his hands over his mouth as a half hiccup, half gag came from him.   
“Yea, you’re practically sober. I would definitely let you drive my sick grandma to the hospital,” you joked.  
“Right?!”   
“Of course! Whatever makes you happy! By the way, while we’re at the subject of things that make you happy I got a present!” you announced, rummaging in your purse for the small package you’d brought.   
It was “wrapped” in the plastic bag you’d bought it in, BUT! it had a bow stuck to its side. Everyone knew you were a notoriously lazy present wrapper, so the bow stuck to it was more than anyone had expected. It was very well received by Marcus and he quickly unwrapped the bag to pull out a t-shirt with an all over print of grumpy cat on it.   
“I fucking love it!” he exclaimed.   
“And with grumpy cat dead, may she rest in peace, it will only go up in value!” you said.  
“I thought we agreed there’d be no presents!” Sitara complained. “Now I feel bad.”  
“Sorry, I just saw it and it made me think of Marcus….” you grimaced.   
“You can pay for my drinks.” Marcus generously offered to stop Sitara from feeling too bad. “And you can fix my car sometime soon. It’s making weird noises,” he said to Wrench.   
“Sure thing man. I mean… while I find the idea of owning a car pretty damn stupid, I’ll still do it for you. I’d do anything for you, if I’m not busy and it isn’t physically taxing in any way. That’s how much I love you, man!”   
“I appreciate it.” Marcus laughed.   
“Owning a car… It’s like you’re turning 40.” Wrench continued.  
“Fuck you, man!” Marcus punched him in the shoulder. “I’m turning sweet sweet 25 and you know it! Not everyone is an old man like you.”   
“I might be old in body, but I’m also old in spirit!” Wrench had never told any of you his real year of birth and he had forbidden his mothers to tell you as well, but you all guessed he was the oldest in the group, probably in his early 30s already. The scandal!   
“So, I’ve met this girl…” Marcus quickly changed the subject before Wrench could get into one of his tirades about ageism.   
“Awwwh! Tell us more!” Sitara took the bait, leaning forward over the table, letting her chin rest on top of her hands. She was always a sucker for love stories.   
“Well… she kinda reminds me of Wrench, in a weird way?” Marcus slowly continued.   
Wrench, who had been bummed out by the change of subject piped up and mirrored Sitara’s pose on Marcus’ other side.   
“Her name is Alex… and she works as a crime scene cleaner…”  
“So far she doesn’t sound a lot like me.” Wrench interrupted.   
“Will she come here today?” Sitara eagerly asked.   
Marcus nodded. “In fact… talk of the devil!” He pushed Wrench out of the booth so he could get up to receive her.   
A tall, somewhat thick girl with long brownish hair walked in, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt with an all over pizza print on it, the kind that Marcus liked too…  
“Nice style.” Wrench admitted.   
“Nice hair!” both you and Sitara exclaimed.   
“Why is she wearing Marcus’ shirt?” Josh asked.

+++

2 hours and 4 beers later it was as if they had each known Alex for years instead of hours.   
“So… When meeting a bunch of new people, there’s one question I usually ask them,” she said, “just to get a feel for their character, you know?”   
Everyone nodded their agreement.   
Marcus hung on her every word. It was incredibly cute, seeing him so in love.   
“It’s almost as big as the question about life, the universe and everything, so prepare your anuses… literally!” Alex paused to chuckle at her own joke. “Would you rather… have a dick in your mouth and a piece of cake up your ass or a piece of cake in your mouth and a dick up your ass? Discuss!”   
“Whew…” Sitara made. “What kind of cake is it?”   
“Does it matter? I mean… what size dick is it?” you chimed in.   
“Honestly? Do I have to decide? Can’t I have both?” Wrench shouted over the others. Everyone knew he was dead serious about that. Alex stared at him and eagerly started nodding. “That’s exactly what I always say!”   
“Let’s drink to that!” Wrench raised his glass towards the middle of the table and everyone cheered.

+++

The party was a blast. The intellectual level of the conversation only went downhill from there and it was only partly to blame on the alcohol.   
When the barkeeper called last round you paid your tab and drunkenly stumbled outside onto the street. Josh and Sitara claimed they were tired and went on their own way, so it was only Marcus and Alex and Wrench and you.  
  
“I’ve actually prepared a surprise as well.” Wrench said, stopping the others in the middle of the street. “Follow me, if you please.” He made a sweeping gesture and everyone started in the direction he’d indicated.   
“Before you ask where we’re going… just don’t.” he said, once you caught up with him and took his hand.   
“But…”  
“Shhhhh…” He turned to walk backwards just so he could place one long skinny finger on your lips… and then proceed to try to get you to suck on it.   
“You’re fucking disgusting!” you slapped him away, unable to contain an amused snort at his idiocy.  
“And you love every second of it,” he grinned.   
“Sadly, I do…”   
He fell into step next to you again and put his arm around your shoulders. “A slave to my sex appeal…” Wrench whispered.

Only 5 minutes later, Wrench stopped you all in front of an old house on the same street as Lucky Pierre’s. It didn’t vary significantly from all the other houses in the street, except for how run down it looked. There weren’t many lights on in any of the houses you had passed, and no wonder, with it being 3 in the morning, but there were none at all in this particular house. Upon closer inspection, most of the windows were either broken or nailed shut. Somehow it looked like it was leaning against the house to the left of it, in as much as houses could lean against one another. To its right, a narrow side alley separated it from its neighbor.  
“What are we going to do in there?” you asked, looking at Wrench distrustfully. “It doesn’t look very save.”   
Wrench chuckled. “When have things with me ever been save?”   
You had to admit, that was true.   
“Since you’re so big on your training these days… you wanna go up first?” Wrench said, pointing into the side alley. “Or how about our Birthday boy?” He turned around to shoot Marcus a look.   
“Nah man, I’m good going last… If we’re climbing up anywhere, I want to be right behind this one.” Marcus said and slapped Alex’s ass, just to make sure everyone had gotten his joke.   
“Alrighty then. Where to?” you said.   


The four of you quickly made it up onto the flat roof. The night was still warm and the moon shining through the thin cloud cover helped you navigate.  
Wrench led you towards the very back of the roof, where a heap of… something waited for you.   
“Everyone here?” Wrench said, turning around once more.   
You whimpered when he pulled out a blowtorch. Of course there would be fire involved in his surprise. Knowing him, there had never been another possibility.  
“You’re not gonna burn us all down, will you?” Alex asked, her voice unsure.   
“Not if I can help it. Chances are about 50:50, I’d say,” he shrugged. Blowtorch in hand, an excited *.* on his display, backlit by the city made him look a little like a mad scientist. Only a little though. Yea, and blume was only a little bit evil.  
“Stay right where you are while I…” he trailed off and turned to the heap on the ground, pointing the blowtorch at it and quickly setting it on fire.   
You inwardly braced yourself for an explosion of some kind but none came. Instead, the heap turned out to be normal wood, placed safely on top of a small brazier so as not to burn the house down. You hated to admit it, but somehow you felt cheated out of some kind of mayhem.

“Sit!” Wrench said to Alex and Marcus, placing a blanket on the ground. “You too,” he said, placing a second blanket at the other side of the small fire.  
You slowly sat down, never leaving him out of your sight. This all went much too smoothly. At this point, things were overdue to turn sideways. Something going up in flames, the roof breaking, something like that. But they still didn’t. What the fuck!  
Wrench had been rummaging through a cooler he must have placed on the roof when he’d prepared the brazier and tossed beers to everyone.  
Alex didn’t wait to open hers and was greeted by a spray of overflowing beer from the opening.   
“Awh, shucks... sorry I wanted to give that one to Y/N.” Wrench said, taking the wet can from the drenched Alex.   
You sighed. “May I introduce? The love of my fucking life.”   
“Awww…” Wrench made. He crouched down in front of you so his back faced the others and quickly lifted his mask to place a soft kiss on your lips. “I love you too.” he whispered. “I’ll show you just how much… later.” He put the mask back on and *.~ lit up on the display in his form of a wink.  
“So… what’s the surprise?” Marcus asked, taking a sip from his beer. “Just this?” he motioned to the fire and beer.   
“There’s one more thing…” Wrench said, lifting one finger and stepping over you to get back to the cooler.   
Each of you watched him with raised eyebrows as he fumbled about in the cooler, shooting each other questioning glances over the fire.   
“So… how did you two meet?” you asked, just to break the silence.   
“I found her in the harbor, soaking wet, in the middle of the night. She’s a bit of a klutz, this one.” Marcus chuckled.   
“I’d like to see what you do when you get pushed by some tourist asshole.” Alex scolded.   
“Yea, of course you were pushed, dear.” he kissed her on the forehead patronizingly.   
“Men… am I right?” Alex said, looking at you.   
You nodded. “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”   
“Especially not without that one.” Wrench said, getting up from the cooler and turning towards the fire again. He was holding a couple of wooden sticks with a bunch of marshmallows skewered on them.   
“S’mores!” Marcus excitedly exclaimed.   
^.^ lit up on Wrench’s mask. “I remembered how much you loved them! Am I not the greatest friend in the www? The whole wide world?”   
“Yea man, I love this!”   
Wrench went around handing out his sticks and tossed a box of crackers and a bar of chocolate towards Marcus before sitting down next to you again.   
Things went quiet as everyone held their sticks into the fire, each couple cuddled up with each other, sharing warmth and comfort.   
“I’m actually so glad you found yourself a girl, man! Would have been awkward to have you cuddle up with us…”   
“Thank you for letting me tag along, by the way.” Alex said. “I was scared Marcus’ friends would be normal… but turns out, Marcus’ friends are more weird than I thought anyone could be!”   
“I’ll take this as a compliment,” you said.   
“It totally is! Except for, where I come from, masked dudes are usually complete nutbags…. this one seems tame in comparison.”   
“I like to credit that to myself.” you chuckled.  
Wrench huffed, pulling away from you. “Tame you say? TAME! I’ll show you tame!”   
Getting up, he struggled to get something from his Jeans pockets and tossed it into the flames. “Tame!”   
The something turned out to be small fireworks and firecrackers which exploded and lifted in each direction, making everyone huddle away from the fire. There was no spot to hide on the roof though.  
“I wanted to do this at the end of the evening, but that’s what tame people would do!” Wrench exclaimed, jumping when one of the small firecrackers hit him in the chest.   
“You’re such a fucking ass, Wrench!” you shouted. Everyone had dropped their sticks and the marshmallows had either fallen into the flames or on the ground, collecting dirt and dust on their sticky surface.   
“Jeez… take care!” he said, ignoring your exclamation and running towards you to pluck a small firecracker from your hair instead. You slapped it out of his hand angrily.   
“Alright, sorry, I’ll take everything back! Sorry I called you tame! I’ll never make that mistake again! You’re mad! Just plain mad!” Alex said, half hiding behind Marcus.   
The bulk of the firecrackers had burned out but the occasional one was still blowing up, making everyone all jumpy.  
“Yea, that’s what I think!” Wrench said, proudly building himself up. “Remember that before you make assumptions again! I’m neither sane nor tame and I vow to keep it that way!”  
No one had noticed his hands sneaking into his pockets again… not until he couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer as he tossed another handful of firecrackers into the flames.   
Their bangs and pops almost drowned out his cackling… and only after it stopped, could they hear the quickly approaching police, forcing them to move towards the edge of the roof.   
“Welcome to San Francisco,” Wrench shouted.  



End file.
